Monday, December 28, 2009

Peace on Earth

The week of Christmas was filled with much hustle and bustle around here, but at this moment, I'm enjoying a cup of tea, early bedtime for the kids and some peace and quiet. And a moment to reminisce.

Credit on the photos to my talented friend Jennifer. She does wonderful work.

The days went by fast, but much fun was had. All of my siblings were home at some point for the holiday, and it was wonderful to see them. (For those who don't know, we're about as spread out as any siblings can be while staying in the states. California, Massachusetts, Georgia, Alaska, and in the middle, me, at home in MN.) As usual, the uncles riled up the kids, spoiled them rotten, and left us with memories to tide over until next time. It doesn't get much better than that. (My camera was evidently far from my hand...not many photos to share. And these are cropping or nothin'.)

We went to my uncle and aunt's on the Isaacson side to enjoy Christmas Eve; sang carols, visited, good food...and no pinata. Piece of advice: start a pinata more than four hours before you want to break it...even with the aid of a hair dryer, it won't be ready. In spite of that, the evening was still a good time.

Anyone need a half-finished pinata?

Christmas morning everyone slept in. The kids didn't rise until after 10, and being as we had two parties to attend, I didn't even attempt to make it to church. Instead, we enjoyed a more leisurely *late* morning together. Santa was good to all, and hit the jackpot with Oliver's shotgun. Talk about a little boy's dream come true. He had shot a some bear, deer and a couple eagles within hours...despite Great-Gramma R.'s admonitions that he shouldn't, because "Eagles are a national symbol." No convincing this young hunter.

The afternoon spent with my mom's side of the family, then the evening with Eric's. (Where Elsa was given this adorable doll.) Lots more food, presents and fun. Then all of a sudden, the day was over. Another wonderfully full and enjoyable holiday. And a snowy one as well!

Today saw me straight back to work, and boy was I dragging. But as icing on the cake, I came home to a freshly cleaned kitchen and bathroom, as well as supper on the stove. Num. A good way to bring in the new week!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Have you gone fishing today?

They caught lots of big fish. True story.

  • The count is down to three days. Fortunately the kids are young enough that they aren't pestering about how much longer.
  • Still a present or two to find...but nothing to serious.
  • And wrapping.
  • And a little cooking.
  • I finally got Christmas cards on Saturday. Filled out, handed out and mailed almost all of them by yesterday. How's that for quick turn around?
  • The new job is awesome. Back again this evening and tomorrow, then off for a long weekend. My schedule for the next bit while orientating pretty much ROCKS, with lots of four day weekends.
  • The kids are playing church. They've got babies, are sitting in their booster seats lined up on the floor and singing slow, made up, Jesus loves me like songs. Then I hear "there's three more songs. We're at Runeburg." :)
  • Just found out there's a 90% chance of snow for Christmas Eve and day. Ah well, it'll be pretty.
  • Two of my brothers are in the state! They'll be home in a few hours.

And the funny of the day:

Oliver to Elsa: "Get your finger outa Dad's nose. You're gonna wreck it!"

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Whew. And Yay!

I survived- and enjoyed!- the first day of my new job today! I was right, the learning curve is going to be steeep, but I'm looking forward to putting this rusty brain to work again. The people I worked with today were great; accepting and full of laughs. Just my style!

Back again tomorrow, then making Christmas goodies with my mom and Katrina tomorrow evening.

Happy Weekend!

P.S. Why is it my kids have a recent infatuation with playing in-and making a mess around-the bathroom sink? Why not with picking up toys or something useful?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Good for the armpits!

Last night at supper, I was cajoling the kids to finish their sweet potatoes so they could have desert by telling them "Nom, nom, eat 'em up! They're good for your eyes!!"

To which Elsa raises her arm, points at her underarm and says "Good for the armpits!!"


Sunday, December 13, 2009


Christmas tree, up and decorated.

Two fun helpers.

Even Thelma was intrigued.

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Wahoo! I got every single thing on my list and only a few impulse buys yesterday (and those were a few clothes for me...jeans to replace the two with new holes in the knee, and some great boots!) The only problem was that I was so fixated on the list I had made, that I didn't contemplate the few people who's gifts I hadn't decided on...but knowing what I was looking for was a wonderful way to go!

I recently realized my growing son was quickly stretching out of his winter coat. Of course, during garage sale season, I picked up a size bigger for Elsa, and she still fits in hers from last year. Oliver? Nothing. How annoying. So I found him a coat yesterday...he wore it out to the mill today with his dad... and got oil on it. How typical. I didn't even get mad. It's a given that new gets stained on the first wear. Garage sale finds will stay clean forever...

Today I'm dragging from a late night Christmas partying last night...not a whole lot getting accomplished but I'm still hoping to get a tree and set it up today. Good thing there's a tree farm about three miles from here!

Wish me luck...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

And December is zipping along...

leaving me in it's wake wondering where the time is going.

Last weekend was Amanda R. and Gordon H.'s wedding; very beautiful. My sister and her hubby are now here from AK and will be through Christmas. (Russ and Gordon are brothers, married to first cousins who grew up together:) So they were both involved in the wedding.)

Today I have to somehow make the kids room spacious enough to fit in a set of bunk beds. My in-laws decided the kids needed bunk beds. They're the type that decide something like that, then go buy what they want (unlike me, who would look at garage sales and thrift stores for years before buying new...). I'm a little on the fence about fitting such large beds for small children in a tiny room (Really, they could share one twin bed...) but who am I to turn down new beds? They'll be great when we have a new house and maybe more kids...

Tomorrow I'm headed Christmas shopping. So far my stash consists of a pack of gum for each kid's stocking (they had a 3 pack for 99 cents yesterday at the grocery. Can't beat that! Especially when they love gum so much.) I did order one gift online yesterday, but hope to find most of the rest tomorrow. I have a pretty comprehensive list of the gifts I need and where I should be able to find them, so hopefully all will go well! It should be fun, Katrina, our mom and I are going together.

Saturday we'll make it feel like Christmas and put up a tree. That's the plan anyhow...

Stay warm!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Happy Birthday!

First of all: Happy Birthday to my hubby! You're gettin old!:) Love you!

I've been a slacking blogger. Mostly, I've just been catching up on family time after working extra hours over the last weeks. The weekend was a goodie, with a quiet family meal with the in-laws for Thanksgiving. (I say quiet, because there are 8 adults and our two kids in the usual family gathering there. Compare that to the 50 or 60 plus with the R. side of my family, and it's quiet.)

Friday was a relaxing one at home, then a warm sauna at my ma and pa's. Eric worked all weekend.

Saturday the kids, their Nanna and I ran to the cities for a cousin's wedding.

Oliver was very concerned Saturday morning when we were getting ready to leave.

"Mom, I want you to wear a skirt, not a dress." and "Mom, my baby (his baby has lots of opinions) doesn't like big ol' poofy dresses. You should wear a skirt." and on and on. I wasn't sure what he was getting at, but I kept assuring him that yes, I would wear a skirt. (Eric said, "Great, I don't even know the difference between a skirt and dress, but Oliver does...")

Turns out he didn't want us to be in the wedding. The next questions were "Mom, are you gettin' married?" then "Nanna, are you gettin' married?" He was happy to hear us say no, that we were already married, but wasn't fully convinced until after the wedding when he said "You didn't get married!!" with a big, relieved smile.

Maybe the poor kid will be able to relax and enjoy the next cousin's wedding this weekend!

Life is busy!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Because it makes me smile...

I've had this comic saved on my desktop for quite some time. Because I've been at work (still the old, boring job) six of the last eight days (which means I've been gone more than I've been home...including the hours I sleep. Sick, isn't it?) and therefore don't have much to say, I decided I'd share this. It's pretty much the same as a glimpse of home anyway.

(Except my kids are cuter...winkwink.)

Very familiar. Makes me chuckle.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Details? You want details?

The wonderfully, spectacularly exciting job I was offered yesterday is at the DL hospital, in the ICU. It's part time, with the option to pick up more hours if I would like. I'm working way more than I would like to be right now, so more time at home will be wonderful. I'm not sure, but I think it'll be mostly night shifts and I'll have to work every other weekend. That'll be a change, but right now, I'm perfectly willing to work with it! Fortunately Eric can be relatively flexible with his work as well. Benifits and a pay raise help make that more persuasive as well:)

I won't be starting until mid-December, in order to give my current employer time to make the needed changes in their staffing. Plus it'll give me time to review all the nursing knowledge I haven't really used in the last year...

I'm incredibly excited about this move. It'll be challenging, (something I have virtually NONE of in my current job) and the learning curve will be steep. I'm pretty sure the first months will be hard and that at times I'll wonder what I've got myself into. But I'm ok with that.

The downside is that I'll be starting about a week before about some hectic holidays!

Here's to good changes!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I got the job! I got the job! I got the job!!!!!

15 minutes ago I was seriously crabby about them taking an extra day to call, but hey, it's all good now. Other than the ulcer in my stomach.


Saturday, November 14, 2009

Unsuccessful (?) hunt

The result of Oliver's first foray into the woods hunting deer: a sound slumber and his dad having to carry him home. But only after sitting for a few minutes, then stating "Dad, I don't think the deer are coming."

Probably a better use of his time, they've not been big on the hunting success this fall.

It'll be a shocker

when it's -20 and sunny.

Oliver's convinced that no matter what, if the sun is out, it's warm and summer. Just now I overheard him "Elsa! The sun came out! (It peaked out for about 10 seconds) We can go outside to play!" I'm tellin' ya, it'll be a shocker come January.

The job interview went well, I had a good feeling when I was leaving. Of course, I spent the next hours rehashing everything, "I should of said this instead..." I should hear on Monday what the verdict is. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed. Thanks everyone for the good vibes:)

Off to throw the kids in the tub. They were washing dishes, which evidently turned into a soap-up-our-hair-with-hand-and-dish-soap-fest. And to mop the floor...

The sun keeps peaking out-enjoy your Saturday!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


It's been one of those.

In no particular order:

  • Working way more than I would like to right now.
  • Elsa was sick over the weekend...5 days of not eating, throwing up, diarrhea, temp, sleepsleepsleep, and just sitting around looking miserable. Poor thing. My guess is H1N1...
  • A warmer November than October. Its a good-very good-thing.
  • Our chickens are laying eggs like mad. The last three days: 5, 7, 8. We have 10 hens. Eggs, eggs, eggs. We love eggs.
  • Some wonderful friends came over last night. Good times. Helped my problem mentioned on Facebook the other day: "Egads! Between my work-which is very solitary-and having a sick kid keeping me home from church (and a wedding), I'm in desperate need of social interaction!!!" Thanks Joan:)
  • Raked leaves and hauled them to the garden on a tarp. The kids got to ride on the tarp while I was dragging about a good workout!
  • Ate a watermelon yesterday. Have you ever had watermelon in Nov? Last one from the garden. I miss the garden. I really, really miss the garden. But I do love the un-yons (Elsa speak), peppers, squash, pumpkins, potatoes, green beans and carrots that are hanging out waiting to be devoured.
  • Packed those carrots in sawdust...we'll see how many months they last.
  • I have an interview tomorrow...and butterflies like mad today. I want this job. Wish me luck. Keep your fingers crossed. Say a prayer. What ever it takes. I want this job.

And a story.

You know how stores have music playing, but most of the time you can only sort of hear the background music and singers, not the actual song?

Well, the other day, the kids were listening to tapes. I found a basket full of kids tapes at a garage sale; Cinderella, Snow White, Rumpelstiltskin, and one treasure: a karaoke tape of songs from my youth, the wonderful and talented Backstreet Boys. Yay.

Elsa loves it. My dear, sweet little two year old has fallen for a boy band. She puts it on and sits in front of the tape player and listens to this horrible background music: ladedada, Let me shooow yooouu a piece of my heaaaarrrt.

So the other day, she put it going and Oliver pipes up, "It sounds just like at J&B Foods!!"

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Elsa, stop coloring on that potato with a crayon and other such foolishness.

And you thought crayon and potato didn't go together in a sentence. Ha.

To continue the foolishness theme:

  • Floppy eared, two toned bunnies. Elsa refused to wear her brown shirt and it turned out Oliver didn't have any brown pants. Such is the life of home-made costumes.
They were much to shy to say Trick-or-treat, but managed to get a few handfuls each before saying it was "too cold" and "scawy." It was all good.

  • Bunk beds, four year old style. They kept telling the rest of us to "be quiet, we're sleeping." Right. Look comfy?

  • And the best kind of foolishness: when you get to make others look foolish.

  • At Amanda's bridal shower the other week. Put the paper on your head and draw the bride in her gown with your crayon. The bride's favorite is the winner! Entertaining to watch.
Heh. With summer gone, we gotta find our entertainment where we can.

Such as prancing on the couch in your skivvies, singing "bare naked, bare naked," and doing the "high jump" off the back of the couch...ahh, or not.

bed time, here we come!

Hope your November is filled with foolishness:)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Magic Pumpkins

My kids, well, they're young. They're just getting to that remember from year to year what different holidays mean stage. So when I launched into a "Hey! Let's carve pumpkins!" announcement, it was met with "Uh, okay. Here we go again, she's lost it" looks.

Never fear. In a stroke of wisdom, I pulled out the new birthday book Elsa got from one of her Uncs (at least I think it was an Unc, the only clue was the address on the package, and we don't know anyone named Amazon.) and we read about Max the bunny and how he went Trick-or-treating with his little orange pumpkin pail. I explained how Oliver had dressed up as Robin Hood (he LOVED Robin Hood,) Elsa wore a cow hat, and they went trick-or-treating last year. Then I explained that trick-or-treating is essentially looking funny and begging for candy. And that another thing people do at Halloween is carve pumpkins.

After that, it went something like this:

"So, should we go carve pumpkins?"

Resounding "Yeah!"


Gathers pumpkins, knives, nose-picking-children and husband.

Draw pictures of what we'll carve. Start digging. (Notice Oliver's very apt tshirt. heh.)

Begin carving...
and carving.

And then:

Oliver: "We're gonna carve the pumpkins, and then they'll turn into CANDY!"

Catching on. It's a gradual process.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Pew. Seriously.

Of all the *wonderful* tasks a person gets to do once they become a parent, one that ranks right up there at the top of the list is poo in the bathtub. Seriously, pew.

I must say I'm very glad I happened to purchase bleach the other day.

*entire readership runs for the hills* I'll stop there.

Off to make a cup o' tea. Much more pleasant.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Cackleberry Gone Soft

Hmm. What is wrong with this egg?
1) It has a tail.

2) There is no shell!!

One of the odder things we've seen with our chickens so far. From the little bit of Googeling I've done, sometimes a chicken will simply lay an egg without a shell. Often it is the first egg she lays, but it can happen at any time. "It just happens."
Very, very odd.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Happy, Happy Birthday

Hello, lopsided.
You're officially two. How did that happen?

Fun, fun weekend.

This weekend was our 17th annual R. ladies weekend. It's a wonderful tradition that started with just our grandma and her girls/in-laws, and has spread to welcome the next generation. For a large family (great grand baby number 50 was with us this time!) it's a great way to reconnect at lest once a year. I became the default last-minute planner, and found us a vacation rental in Red Wing, MN. Because the planning was last minute, many weren't able to make it-they were missed (and missed out)! The photo is missing some of those in attendance.

It was a wonderful place. We very much plan on going back there in the future as it's a gorgeous house, affordable, has room and beds galore, is very scenic and relatively close to most of us. We truly could have stayed right on the premises and been thoroughly entertained.

Last week, we had snow and cold, cold, cold. Just in time for the weekend, the sun came out, fall arrived and we were treated to absolutely beautiful weather.

Hiking Barn Bluff. The way the bluffs in this area rise out of nowhere is gorgeous. (I know, I look like I'm gonna pop you one. Maybe I will. I do have a mean left hook.)

Stairs on the hike. Lots and lots of stairs. They are from the devil. Or so Claire thought at this point.

The mighty Mississippi from the top of the bluff.

A certain milestone is being reached this year by our eldest cousin-she went home with many, many treasures. We have birthday parties with style.

Gut busting laughter: it's good for the body.

Yup, lotsa sophisticated humor. We should be set for a while after this trip.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A few randoms

Sitting as far away from the candles as her chair would allow...she wouldn't blow them out.
  • There's a blanket of snow covering the ground. I must admit it is beautiful.
  • But still. Much to early.
  • Our chickens are laying eggs these days. Yay!
  • We weren't sure if they were all laying in the coop. I thought we should be getting more than we were.
  • Turns out, it wasn't the chickens-they were doing as directed.
  • Caught red handed (or is it red pawed?): Sam. Dadgum dog. (at least he'll have a luscious coat, eggs are good for that.)
  • We've also discovered that we have another rooster. All of a sudden, a third 'chicken' was crowing. Humph.

  • My brother Carl has been here from GA. He's achieved rock star status with my kids. Especially with Oliver. That Unc is just plain cool.
  • Need a good way to make yourself look gray haired for Halloween? My kids have discovered the solution: Gold Bond Foot Powder. That stuff covers very well and doesn't come out.
  • I'm headed out tomorrow morning for a R. ladies weekend. Wahoo! We're off to an awesome looking vacation rental house by Red Wing. Should be a wonderful time.
  • Here's hoping the weather shapes up for us!
  • Now, I better be off to accomplish the list of things before I can leave: make soup to bring for tomorrow supper, make supper for today, buy a birthday present, stop at the library, do laundry, fill out a job application, get on with the day!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

A little Mama on my hands.

I'm currently watching my daughter play with her new kitchen set, and trying to decide how I feel about my two year old daughter having more working counter space than I have. Humpf.

We had an early birthday party for Miss Elsa yesterday. I think we hit the jackpot with the Little Tykes kitchenette we gave her. The grin on her face was priceless, along with the whispered "ooo" and "yeah" and "nice" and other such awe-struck-little-girl noises. I hauled it in from the car after morning church today, she played with it until afternoon church, and now she's going on two hours straight. (To sweeten the deal, the set was $10, the pots, pans and bowls around $4 and the plastic food $1 all from thrifts and garage sales. One pot set at Target was more than that!)

Love hitting that sweet spot with gifts. It's fun to see her imagination come to life.

I would share pictures, but my camera is MIA. Now, off to enjoy the Sunday paper and these moments of quiet. Ta!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Check it out!

Listening to MPR's Midmorning this morning, I was excited to hear a program about a website called GoodGuide. It is precisely what I've been looking for (although I couldn't have told you this was what I wanted...)

I feel it's important to have good, healthy meals/snacks/cleaning products/everything else we use day to day, and have been trying to focus my shopping to reflect that (not always successful, but hey, we'll get there.) I have always been frustrated by how daunting it is to actually find out what goes into products, where the ingredients come from and whether the claims are accurate. For example, claims of "natural" are not regulated and don't really mean anything. Organic is much better and does have requirements, but there are different percentages of "Organicness" (technical term there) and many issues that can slip through those cracks as well. How does your average Anna-trying-to-shop-with-kids-in-the-cart know what is good, better or best?

And, now I have my answer!

It started as a university research project, and although it is no longer affiliated with a school, it is not supported by any companies who would get preferential treatment in return, or any other such thing. It gives good, easy to understand ratings based on hundreds of factors, and you can see how it does in the category most important to you (health, environment, etc.)

For me, the biggest thing is decreasing the amount of sugar/high fructose corn syrup/additive-preservative junk in foods I buy. And cleaning products. I hate cleaning products. I don't buy them. They don't make me feel clean, they make me feel high. Poo. Bring on the baking soda and vinegar. And the elbow grease.

Check it out. I've already been surprised by a few products I buy! And maybe I'll find a few cleaning products I like. My elbow grease tends to run out.

They even have plans to make a deal where you'll be able to use a cell phone, scan the bar code of the product you're looking at and it will give you the details. Nifty, eh?

That might even convince me to get a cell phone!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A gray, deary day...

With cousins over to play.

This usually makes me smile, as the group gets along pretty well. (Incidentally, these pictures are from our vacation, and have nothing to do with today...other than the pining I have for still being there. And, because my mind is stuck in today, I'll not get to sharing details of our adventures either. Some other day...)

But today....hoy-vay!

This one woke up bawling and utterly inconsolable...

This one forgot to take his brain with when he got out of bed...

Scenes like this are nonexsistant this morning.

I finally stuck on the rainboots and shuffled them all outside. A little steam needs to be burned off...and maybe I'll get a chance to finish a cup of coffee...


and to dream of these days.


Late addition:
After a few hours of threatening Oliver with removing his bedroom door if he didn't stop slamming it in his sister's face, timeouts X ???, and informing him that "I don't care if you don't want to play with Elsa, you will let her play... Give.Her.That.Toy.Back." the rest of the day went quite well, I would even hazard to call it fun:)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Message to Joan:

Hi Joan!

I just had to let you know, both Oliver and Elsa went to bed with "Baby Aila" last night...

Guess she made an impression last time we saw you!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Back to the real world


and smiles.
She's got a thing for this pose these days.

That pretty much sums up our trip (I'll try share more once I get through the pictures...) Today saw me jumping right back into the 'real world' with a 5 am alarm...made me wish I was still out of town. All in all, it was a wonderful vacation!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Oh, goodness.

I just got those punks back to sleep.

A few minutes ago Oliver was bawling in his sleep (symptom of to much fun, not enough sleep today) and wouldn't stop.

So he woke up Elsa.

And kept bawling. He eventually became coherent enough to say "I want my cookies back."

I finally picked him up and took him to our room, where he promptly stopped bawling and fell back asleep...

but when I walked out with him, Elsa wasn't going to miss out on a late night treat and started bawling "I want cookies, too!!!"

Fortunately, she was easily convinced that the only cookies around here are imaginary...

Monday, September 7, 2009

A vacation!

It's pretty much official.

We'll be headed to the UP early Thursday morn.

We like to plan way ahead on these things.

Going here....

Enjoying this...

and this.
And visiting and a lot of relaxing and enjoying each other.

For the first vacation Eric had gone on since the summer Oliver was a baby. I'd say he's about due. Here's hoping for the beautiful weather to continue!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Welcome Fall!

First of all, thanks to everyone who took the time to read and comment on the last post. Your support warms my heart. Last fall was hard, but we're in a good place around here these days. Time heals, and life is good.


Fall is in the air. The nights are crisp (crisp enough that some of the taller plants in the garden got their tops frosted the other night!) and some trees are changing color. I'm not sure I'm prepared to let go of this summer, it was so beautiful and the weather so wonderful! I love fall...but then comes winter. Ack!

Yesterday was a fiasco around here, but it turned out to be a productive fiasco. I started out by straightening up the porch (We built a 10x10ft porch on the back entrance of this trailer, it houses the wood furnace, washer and dryer among other things.) In this process, I knocked the hose that drains the washer out of it's drain pipe. And neglected to notice. Then started a new load of wash. Then went outside.

Then noticed the water leaking from under the wall...

And came in to about an inch of water covering the floor.

So what was a simple straightening became an all out shop-vacing, washer-moving, dark, mysterious corner cleaning afternoon.

But it's all good. The dark, scary corners were cleaned, and I came out $12 richer!

The cleaning spilled over to other areas of the house, so I ended up with a rearranged and cleaned living room as well. Wahoo!

Today list is being made as I go. I was supposed to work, but my client is in the hospital so I get to enjoy another day off. Happy fall!

Monday, August 31, 2009

A year ago.

A year ago today, I was pregnant.

A year ago tomorrow, I wasn't.

I had/was miscarrying. Miscarriage is one of those things a person doesn't really think about, doesn't really think will happen, until it happens to you. I had had two healthy babies, and assumed life would continue along that path. That a pregnancy would lead nine months later to a beautiful little person. Then, I miscarried.

Intellectually, I understood that it happens, and that when it does, it's for a reason. That reason really has nothing to do with you, the mother, more to do with something not being right with the baby. That there's really nothing you could do. However, that knowledge doesn't fill the void it leaves when you realize you're loosing your baby, that you'll never get to know this little person.

It doesn't take away the moments that take you off guard. The times when I glance up to see my two kids playing across the room, and in my mind see a third sitting on the floor, playing with them. When a friend comes to tell you with excitement that she's expecting, and is due when you would have been. And as happy as you are for her, as much as you want to convey happiness, all that comes out is "I'm miscarrying." When your arms just feel so empty.

And suddenly, there are babies everywhere.

The next few days were ones of functioning. Waiting to pass the fetus, then when I did, wrapping it in a little blanket, putting it in a shoebox, burying it, saying a prayer together, as a family sending him up to heaven.

It began to fade. I adjusted to the idea of not being pregnant. Started making plans that don't involve fitting a new baby into life. Even went days without thinking about it.

Then came the due date. And suddenly, it was fresh again. My arms felt empty again. And once again, there are babies everywhere.

Then, once again it begins to fade. It will never go away, it can't. He is a part of me.

As hard as loosing a baby was and still can be, I am thankful that I have been blessed with healthy children and a wonderful husband. It is immeasurably easier to fill these arms when they are feeling empty when there are little bodies to fill them with. They are living comfort.

My other comfort has been faith. Knowing that my child will not face the trials of this life, that he (I've always thought it was a boy) is safe up in heaven and that some day, I will get to meet him. Shortly after the miscarriage I had a dream. It was utterly vivid, and in it, my little, precious bundle of baby boy was sleeping quietly, in the arms of my grandfather. In that lies the greatest comfort, knowing that Grandpa is taking care of him until I get to be there to take over. Until then, he will always be in my heart.


Going through a miscarriage can make a person feel stranded, alone. It's hard. It's loosing a baby that you're already so in love with. Typing this, I've had to stop multiple time because of the tear streaming down my face. I hope that in sharing this experience, someone who is feeling that pain will find some comfort, knowing that you're not alone and that as hard of a place it is, you can, and will, make it through.


I had to end with my two tales of happiness, the joys of my life, each on the day they came into this world.Mr. Oliver. Going on four already. Yikes.

And our princess, Elsa. Almost two.
Able to cross her toes (think like crossing your hands) at birth.

Now go hug the ones you love.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tickeled my funnybone #5682

As he hung onto my leg yesterday, he jumped back and said "Ow!! You got WEEDS growin' there!"

In the evening, we could hear a siren going by in the distance. He jumped up, ran to the door, and said "It's a firetruck! Mom! Can we go to the parade?"

Maybe I should shave my legs more often...


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

On a roll...

I love days like this. So far this morning:
Three loads of laundry on the line.

Picked a bucket of chokecherries

Cleaned them

Juiced them.

Picked potatoes
Summer squash
and made them into a delicious lunch, along with steak. I tend to make a large lunch on days when Eric has to work the evening. That way, we still get to eat a real meal together. Plus he doesn't have to find as much to eat for supper!

Making meals is a pleasure right now. There is an abundance of healthy produce in the garden, and it's all so delicious. When every single thing we had came from within 10 miles of us, I'd say a it doesn't get much better than that!

So far, we've had a productive day. This afternoon I hope to finish making jelly and syrup, as well as some laundry and house work.

Here's to those days when you just get things done!

Now if all days could go so well...